THUNDA!

Alright, I'm going to start off by saying that I am not really a basketball lover anymore. I was obsessed as any human boy was in the early to mid 90s with the NBA. It was full of stars like Michael Jordan and David Robinson that a kid could really look up to. Now it's Kobe and Artificial Intelligence ball hoggin' down the court - both of whom I would not consider role models, needless to say.

Anyway, the Supersonics are now calling Oklahoma City their new, uh, homa. With that they decided to rename themselves the Oklahoma City Thunder. Not very original, and pretty boring. They could have at least tried a little harder. The state bird is a Scissor-tailed Flycatcher for crying out loud. Even the state soil (I love wikipedia by the way) sounds much more threatening - Port Silt Loam. The OKC Port Silt Loam.

I guess the Lighting, Storm, Tornadoes, Hurricanes, and most other weather terms have been used up. Have we become so PC that even our team names have become boring. Remember the Washington Bullets? Too violent for America apparently. But the Wizards is the best they could do? Really? You know how many crazy Christian mothers probably threw a fit over that? You know, promoting witchcraft and all obviously. Either way they are mythical mascots which I don't believe there are too many of because they obviously promote devil worshiping. What about the Redskins or the Indians or the Braves? Racism is OK but Bullets...they must go! When you think about it, violent mascots make more sense. You are supposed to intimidate and scare your opponent. Do the Redskins hope they will just offend the other team into losing? Doesn't seem right to censor one and not the other. They should have just called them the Indian Intercoursers after the Indian Intercourse Act of 1834. Or why not the Scalpers, since we apparently don't care about offending the Native Americans and are more worried about kids thinking about magic.

Apparently, the other options that Thunder beat out were Wind, Barons, Marshalls, Energy and Bison. So pathetic. Wind? Really. Energy? Why not name them the Solar Panels or the Policemen. Makes Just as much sense as Energy and Marshalls. It's too close to the Rangers anyway.

So along with unscary and boring weather terms and racist labels, there are also the much cooler and old skool names. No matter how much I hate the Yankees, they have a pretty solid name. The Red Wings and the Astros even (The Astros used to be the Colt45s, but let's not get into that again). They stir up great American values and the names have something to do with something historically pertinent to their cities. Last time I checked, there is no Jazz in Utah. Do they even allow music there? Lakers in a desert...really?
It does seem like owners are catching on though with the Expos to Nationals and now Supersonics to Thunder. You have to change the name. Period. Expansion teams have even figured it out with the Diamondbacks and Devil Rays. For an overall reference of team changes - I advise watching the first few minutes of BASEketball. Pure genius.
The most consistent awesomeness in team naming that I have seen is in the Minor League Baseball association. They have teams like the Biscuits and the Midgets. Who wouldn't want to go see those teams and buy all of their apparel?! Nobody is better at marketing than minor league teams.

So, folks. Looks like we are stuck with the Thunda for now. My current theory is that they named them something so generic because an NBA team could not possibly stay that long in Oklahoma. When they have to move again, it will be cheaper to just keep the name. Who really cares about sports in the OKC? It's going to be like the Marlins all over again. I would have just called them the Finger because that's what the state looks like and you could just announce the team "And now, we give you...The Finger!" That would rile up the crowd. Yup, they've already started raping AC/DC's Thunderstruck.