The Evolution of the Desire to be a Superhero in Young American Males

So it is commonly accepted that pretty much every little boy (sometimes girls) wants to be a superhero when they grow up. Who wouldn't want to have super powers or really cool gadgets and vehicles? Most of these kids have a seemingly unlimited supply of action figures and constantly watch their costumed idols on TV or in movies. Every day is Halloween for them. Too bad for us/them, this is the pinnacle of male existence.

Eventually you start to learn about physics and criminal law and taxes, all of which are superhero killjoys. Still some of us look past that and truly believe Batman is the coolest because he seems the most reality-based.

He is obtainable still. All we need is an endless supply of cash and some traumatic event in our childhood. No biggie. Personally, watching Follow That Bird was that traumatic event.

Then you go to college where it's not all that cool to be a superhero, so you pretend you are practicing being undercover for 4 years. You are only accepted on Halloween in your costume now. Every other time people think it's funny and awesome, but these people won't date you. You are just a novelty act. A conversation starter.

Real world issues begin to put a damper on your life of crime fighting. Student loans become absolutely daunting and really eat up your secret headquarters fund. Crime fighting doesn't pay the rent. You tell yourself that you need a day job anyway for your alter-ego. The day job breaks you. You might become a yes man. You might become a gofer. Food only tastes good on sale. Goodwill is your Saks. You get lots of pleasure from just sitting down someplace other than your desk. Your all-night escapades across rooftops don't pan out because you are asleep at 10:30. You practice Halo instead of Jujitsu. Your sidekick is a cool beer. And the closest you get to fighting crime is paying the landlord on time so he will get off your back.

The only similarity between you and a superhero is that you are both miserable. When are superheros happy? Someone is always getting killed or kidnapped. Even if you capture bad guys, they will probably make bail or parole or just get off scott-free. Jails are just revolving doors. Cops hate you for showing them up. Society is scared of you. All you want to do is help people that don't want to be helped. They didn't ask for you. They didn't vote for you. You are a scape-goat. Criminals are trying even harder now to out-smart you. The city is in chaos.

So now the regular you decides the only way to finance your crime fighting is to become a criminal yourself. Since this is against all moral and superhero ethics, you must seek out new means to unleash your inner child. One day you see a John Wayne movie and realize he is the coolest man ever. He's just a hardworking cowboy that takes shit from no one. Lighting bolt hits you right in the face, blowing off your cape and tights and filling you full of 10000 volts of epiphany. You shall become a cowboy. And so it begins...all over again...